It was 11pm on 31 December. A hectic handing-over meeting was in progress. CEO Mr. 2007 sat on his throne looking haggard and scrawny. CEO Mr. 2008 sat across the table, running through his checklist, very energetic, eager and agile.
“The cold war between the US and erstwhile USSR is over,” asserted 2007 with pride. 2008 looked sceptical and retorted: “But I believe Putin is shooting in the dark occasionally, raising concerns about a return to the frozen ages.” “Well, speak to Bush,” advised 2007.
But 2008 wasn’t going to be bamboozled easily. “You know, Bush’s own plate is overflowing, with an ensuing retirement, sliding dollar, possible recession, unemployment, etc.,” argued 2008. “Then speak to Hillary,” counselled 2007, with a shrug. “She should be able to help. The American ladies have always proclaimed that the world is safe, as long as Hillary is sleeping with Bill.”
“You could not ensure the return of the 3 million refugees to Iraq,” accused 2007. “Well, it has started now. A bit late,” replied 2007 limply. “And you let Paris Hilton dominate the headlines, again!” rebuked 2008. “Well, she is a kid and enjoys publicity,” responded 2007. He was trying to underscore the achievements of the year, but 2008, like a tony, ambitious MBA, was focusing on the outstanding issues only.
“What’s the progress in the laboratories to cure AIDS and cancer?” questioned 2008, with his hand on his hip. 2007 became very defensive. “The scientists are working on these problems, but it does take time and resources,” he replied. 2008 wasn’t impressed. “If resources are a constraint, why is so much money yet being squandered on wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Sudan?” he asked. “That should be resolved soon,” said 2007, “Bush and the UN have dispatched soldiers, food and medicines.” He added, “Ahmadinejad, too, has been quiet of late.”
2008 had the chilling thought that the year had been managed by Bush, rather than by 2007.
2008 glanced through his takeover check list. “Any progress on climate change and controlling pollution?” he asked. 2007 scratched his balding head. A year ago, he had thick, black hair like 2008. Just 365 days on earth, with its heat and pollution, had cost him his foliage.
“The Bali meeting was a great success. We also gave the Nobel Prize to Al Gore. Plastic envelopes are being recycled,” reported 2007 weakly.
“What is the progress on human rights in Burma and North Korea?” 2008 queried. 2007 pretended not to hear. “Ah!” he exclaimed, “the South-East Asian countries are on a roll. They are liberalizing and establishing new factories to generate jobs and incomes. China’s GDP growth at 8-10% is astounding.” 2008 was irked by 2007’s evasion of the query about human rights.
2008 asked, exasperated, “What is the position in India? The Boss is particularly worried about the largest democracy in the world.” 2007 was quiet for a long time. Finally, he muttered: “There is record growth, about 25% of Indians are engrossed in multiplying their wealth.” “What about the others?” he asked. “Another 50% are busy shopping in malls, buying new models of mobile phones or fighting each other on religious or sectarian issues,” 2007 replied slowly. “And the balance?” asked 2008. “Well, they yet live below the poverty line in villages and slums and don’t get two full meals a day, ” replied 2007 very limply. “That’s over 250 million people! It’s almost the entire population of the US!” exclaimed 2008.
2007 shuffled out of the room. He seemed to be in deep anguish. Like a man who has lost. Just then, the clock struck 12.
2008 moved to the throne and sat on it. Very sombrely. He could handle Iraq, Iran, Bush, Hillary, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, AIDS, cancer, global warming, pollution.
But, 2008 wondered, how was one to deal with India?
Rajendra K. Aneja is CEO of a foods manufacturing/retailing company in West Asia. Comment at otherviews@livemint.com