BackThere is life beyond a boyfriend
There is life beyond a boyfriend
PremiumTwo much: Constant togetherness can be harmful.
My 15-year-old daughter has a boyfriend now. He’s a good boy. My problem is that she has simply “dropped" her other friends after he came into the picture. Till last year she and her three friends were inseparable. Now she has no time for them. All the spare time, even study time, is spent with the boy. In what words do I explain to her that this is not healthy?
Underline the fact that this is an unrealistic expectation and one that is bound not to be met fully. He may be busy at times, or may simply not want to be in this constant one-on-one mode with her. When that happens, she would wrongly identify it as “he doesn’t love me" or “he’s not giving enough".
While constant togetherness may seem very cozy and loving at the beginning of a relationship, it is far healthier to have a broad band of relationships, which touch upon different aspects of your personality and your social and emotional needs—this is what you will need to demonstrate to her and the boy too, if you can talk to him. You may find that they will both, at some level, be quite grateful to you for putting some perspective into the situation without preventing them from meeting.
Gouri Dange is the author of The ABCs of Parenting.
Send your queries to Gouri at learningcurve@livemint.com
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