Experts have used the sun sign and the zodiac to predict matters such as love and relationships, success and failure. But this piece will fill an important knowledge gap in an area oft neglected by soothsayers: a zodiac guide for office workers like you and me. After all we all absolutely need to know what will happen to our colleagues and us in the new year. What does the year have in store for you? We take a rather liberal and flexible view towards sun signs, so you don’t have to restrict yourself to your own conventional sign of the zodiac. Go ahead and choose any of these 12 predictions for 2012, based on your innermost desire.
Let us begin with some Confucian office philosophy. 2012 is the Chinese Year of the Dragon. A stark contrast to 2011, which was the Year of the Rabbit. As the saying goes, when fierce dragons enter conference rooms and cubicles, be prepared for terrible wars of worlds, but also be aware that dragons safeguard great treasures which can be yours. This is then definitely a year of great contrasts.
Harish Bhat is chief operating officer—watches and accessories, Titan Industries Ltd. He prefers sunshine over sun signs, and and fortune over fortune-telling. He assumes no responsibility whatsoever for the veracity of predictions contained in this article.
• Capricorn
With a goat as your sun sign, will you be a sacrificial lamb in office ? Or will you finally get your boss’ goat in the new year?
Either way, we predict that you will obtain a salary increase which may not fully satisfy your insatiable craving for luxury goods. During the year, a colleague may try to occupy your cubicle without your permission. You must resist this fiercely, unless of course the colleague is a hot young dragon of the opposite sex.
• Aquarius
This is the most masculine of sun signs, so feel and savour the power. You may have occasional trouble with some members of your team, but remember that most things can always be resolved over a few delicious vodka shots at the end of the day. Be extra-courteous to the liftman and pantry boy, because they are essential to cubicle-happiness.
• Pisces
You are a child of the sea, so you must head to the beaches for regular breaks from the office grind. In 2012, you have the choice to be a bloodthirsty shark, a playful dolphin or even a fish out of water.
Even as you exercise this choice, here is a startling prediction: You are likely to shorten all your office emails to crisp one-liners, which may establish a welcome new year global trend.
• Leo
A year of many meetings awaits you, where big bosses roar endlessly, and long presentations are made forever. All is not lost, though. An interesting seminar in London is likely to come your way, which will provide you an excellent opportunity to watch the Olympic Games. When you return, call a half-day workshop to present your findings.
• Aries
This year (like most years in most offices) will be the best of times and the worst of times. You will be bold in your actions, like the battering ram which is your sun sign. For instance, you may approach your boss for an out-of-turn double promotion. You will not fret over small matters, instead you will lose much sleep over big things that also don’t eventually matter.
• Cancer
This sun sign spells competitive behaviour in office. Haven’t we heard of all those crabs dragging each other down? You will compete for the really big prizes, and you could end up either on the victory podium or in the intensive care cardiac unit, or both. Frankly, we think mountains and jungle resorts are better destinations.
• Gemini
You will begin the year with twin objectives—achieving all your office deadlines during the year, and losing lots of weight. We caution you that both are impossible to achieve. Be pragmatic, set yourself simple and feasible goals such as leaving office promptly by 6 each evening, and enjoy the glorious year ahead.
• Taurus
This is an interesting sun sign for a year of likely recession, because when everything is looking bearish, the bulls always shine. You will take extremely bullish postures on important matters such as sales targets and interest rates, until everyone else and the Reserve Bank of India governor asks you to shut up. A big travel bug will bite you, but equally large cuts in your company’s travel budgets will be a terrible constraint.
• Virgo
We envy you, because this is the sun sign of office romance in the new year. Will you find your dusky soulmate among the new batch of interns, or perhaps in the dull corridors of the internal audit department? So begin the year by checking out your company’s rules on this delicate subject, and, for everyone’s sake, please be discreet.
• Libra
The career move you have always sought will hang in the balance, as headhunters contact you but don’t come forward with firm offers. You are likely to get a new boss during the year. However, based on empirical evidence, we cannot assure you that this change will be for the better. You may be left pining for old times.
• Scorpio
You enter the new year at your own risk, watch out for that sting in the tail. We fear that your company may go completely bankrupt, but this is not abnormal in a volatile year where the Eurozone, stockmarkets and their like may collapse in unison. A poor year ahead
• Sagittarius
Strange and unbelievable things will happen to you this year. You will achieve and overtake your sales and other targets with ease, month after month. Your office notes and presentations will be hailed as masterpieces of communication. You will complete all work well ahead of deadlines, which will leave you enough time to party constantly. On that note of optimism and cheer, we wish all cubicle dwellers a fabulous year full of levity, fun and joy !
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