BackBook Excerpt | Zohra Segal: Fatty
Zohra Segal's daughter on celebrating birthdays and going shopping with her mother
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Ammi is a great one for ‘thank you’s’ and ‘please’s’! She gets very upset if you don’t thank her and sometimes I don’t—just to annoy her. Also, her ‘good mornings’ and ‘good nights’ are equally important. It was her birthday on 27 April 2005 and I took her out to dinner. We could not do much as we had just returned from Kerala; I didn’t even have time to buy her a birthday present. However, at dinner I saw that she wasn’t looking quite happy and I thought that it was just the tiredness of the journey. But, to my surprise, it wasn’t that—the reason for her unhappiness was that there was no birthday cake! So I quickly went and ordered one and told her that it had all been worked out and organised beforehand, which was a lie.
Actually I thought that she must or should have ‘grown out’ of birthday cakes and all that; but to my surprise she was very pleased and said, “Now I feel it’s my birthday." Such a kid! Amita Malik came and met her at the table and so did Krishen Khanna and his wife Renu and some other friends. She kept telling all of them that it was her birthday and that she had completed ninety-three years!
Once, when she was eighty-nine, I gave her a surprise birthday party. She had absolutely no idea of what was in store. I had invited all her friends and asked each one of them to cook something and bring it along. The day started very normally with me wishing her and then, later in the morning, I said to her, “Aren’t you going to get ready and put on some better clothes?" She didn’t seem to think it was necessary but I forced her and so she changed. She was looking rather unhappy and neglected!
Now, every sixth month, she makes some excuse to replenish her wardrobe with new clothes and off she goes shopping with me if I have the time or with a friend or disciple of mine. I enjoy going with her because then I can make her buy me a salwar kameez or a beautiful sari. Even now I manage to get some money out of her around Dussehra saying, “Where is my pooja sari and what about my birthday present?" In her youth I have never seen her wear salwar kameez except in plays when her role demanded it. She was always in a sari and a salwar kameez was like a night suit for her. These days she hardly wears a sari, it is salwar kameez all the time; she says that now it is more convenient and practical for her.
When she is busy she hates going as ‘chief guest’ to any function but when she is a little free she doesn’t mind at all. In 2005, she had been attending almost every other function where she has been invited as chief guest or she was being honoured. Ammi thinks she is a kunjoos but actually she is ‘pennywise and pound foolish’; for example, once she went to receive her sister from the airport and for assistance she took Suresh, our house help, with her. She made him wait in the taxi instead of taking him inside to help with the luggage and the trolley because she did not want to spend another fifty rupees on his ticket. Also, I can get money out of her at the drop of a hat—it is another matter that I never do it, except for my pooja sari, Deepavali sari and my birthday present!
I have tried my best to persuade her to open up a ‘Birthday Greeting’ agency. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Ammi is a great ‘birthday card sender/greeter’. If she gets to know your date of birth you will religiously receive a birthday greeting card from her, year after year. What’s worse is that she insists that I should also sign the card. Earlier I would just refuse to sign and she would go on and on and finally I would succumb! Now I just sign as a reflex action, at times I do not even know to whom she is sending the card. Oh yes, every letter, every day, is very important and has to be posted immediately. Despite my explaining to her that the letterbox has been cleared for the day and will only be cleared by 10 am the next day, so the important letter can be posted the next morning, she insists that it be put in the letterbox immediately—as if by some miracle her letter will be taken by a fairy called ‘the postman’.
One thing I really admired about Ammi was that, until recently, her New Year cards to her friends all over the world were personally sketched and drawn by her. Her colours would be red, dark blue or dark green combined with some pen and ink. She would begin this beautiful exercise somewhere mid-October and carry on till November. All her friends and relatives would receive her handmade cards in time for Christmas and the New Year and also reply. During this period her room acquires a very happy look with the cards displayed on her table and bookshelves. In fact, not just her room but the whole house gets a very festive look. Actually, the festive look starts from Deepavali and carries on till well after New Year.
Excerpted from Zohra Segal: Fatty (Rs1195)with permission from Niyogi Books
Also Read | Amma’s long innings
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