Old tales of revenge, love and family bonding get a pumped-up budget, designer togs and new locales in Siddharth Anand’s Bang Bang, an official remake of the 2008 flop Knight and Day. Bollywood writers take the original and re-cast it to fit a local film grammar. Besides the premise of an international agent Rajveer (Hrithik Roshan) kidnapping a low-IQ, maybe sexy girl Harleen (Katrina Kaif) and travelling the world avoiding bad guys, the plot of Bang Bang is markedly different from the original. A few sequences are directly redone but that’s where the comparisons end.

Knight and Day was mediocre at best. The remake comes with that legacy and even experienced writers like Sujoy Ghosh, Suresh Nair and Abbas Tyrewala are unable to add bang to this bland concoction.

International criminal Omar (Danny Denzongpa) commands the theft of the Kohinoor diamond in order to thwart a new extradition treaty being drafted between UK and the Indian government. A bronzed and beautiful Rajveer is the one who has pulled off this seemingly impossible feat. On the run, he lands up in Shimla where he has a chance encounter with bank receptionist Harleen awaiting a blind date.

This case of mistaken identity takes Harleen on a rollercoaster round-the-world trip, which she is often too drugged to enjoy. Then one day she awakens on a remote island clad in a bikini in a sequence reminiscent of Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai, the film that catapulted Roshan to stardom 14 year ago.

Rajveer and Harleen are chased by goons, guns and government agents, none of who are competent enough to land one bullet on target, as they seek out the diamond. Stalwarts like Vikram Gokhale and Pavan Malhotra deliver cheesy lines with a sneer, Denzongpa’s two scenes are memorable only for the pastel-shaded jackets and cravats, Javed Jaffrey has three scenes to show off his cigar and freshly painted (tattooed) neck. The cinematography is poor in spite of some stunning locations such as Abu Dhabi, Thailand, Greece and Prague. The dismal art direction jumps out of the screen.

Fans of Katrina Kaif shall not be disappointed with her cutesy act (which she nails) and her jerky dance moves. But then there’s Roshan—freshly worked out, hair carefully set. He makes light of the action scenes with as much confidence as he glides across the dance floor. He alone puts the bang in ‘Bang Bang’.

Bang Bang released in theatres on Thursday

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