Director Nikhil Advani and Anvita Dutt Guptan, who wrote the new film Patiala House, begin their enterprise, I presume, rather clinically: play safe. There’s cricket, there’s a wedding, and there’s bhangra —and Rishi Kapoor, and Akshay Kumar. You can’t go wrong, the box office will jingle. Whether Patiala House does make money at the box office or not, as a piece of film-making, it is entirely uninspired. The story is that of a Sikh entrepreneur in London’s Punjabi ghetto Southall. He abhors everything angrezi because he once suffered racist abuse from whites. So he is a racist too, and a tyrant, who bans the family’s second generation from pursuing their passions—which, quite predictably, are rap music, film-making and cooking—and anything that allows contact with the evil world of whites. Consider the patriarch, Gurtej Kahlon (or bauji, played by Kapoor) a poor and abominable caricature of Kajol’s father in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. Caricatures are aplenty in this film, overcrowded in almost every scene by desi stereotypes.