Satyajit Ray's work was my first inspiration: Vidya Balan

She did a movie here and a TV soap there for a while, but it was Parineeta’s Lalita that brought Vidya Balan into the limelight. The 2005 adaptation by Pradeep Sarkar of Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s timeless classic of the same name also brought the actor the Filmfare award for best female debut that year. Balan hasn’t looked back since. From Bhool Bhulaiyaa to Paa to Ishqiya to The Dirty Picture and Kahaani, she has given many a performance that has been praised by the audiences and critics alike. Her portrayal of Silk Smitha in The Dirty Picture (2011) fetched her the National Award for best female actor. Earlier this year, she was also awarded the Padma Shri. In an email interview with Mint Indulge, Balan talks about her journey from being an eight-year-old girl bitten by the acting bug to the acclaimed actor that we know today. Edited excerpts:

When was the first time you realized you wanted to become an actor? What was the reaction of your parents?

I must have been seven or eight when the acting bug bit me. Initially, my family (parents and sister) didn’t take me seriously. They thought it was a passing fancy like any girl that age would probably have. But it kept growing, and I was about 12 or 13 when I first read about Satyajit Ray’s work (I hadn’t watched any till then) and began to harbour the desire to work with him.

When I watched the clips of him receiving the Oscar for lifetime achievement in a hospital bed, I wrote him a letter urging him to get well soon because he still had movies to make…with me. I think that’s when my family began to wonder and my mom began to worry if this was ever going to pass.

He (Ray) passed away before I could post my letter, but what remained was the burning desire. My mother would, from time to time, share her concerns with my father who would reassure her by saying: “We shall cross the bridge when we come to it”... And honestly, when we came to it, she thawed and how.

My sister on the other hand fuelled my dream and would painstakingly explain to me what good acting meant and what it entailed. I remember one such incident. She said: “Acting is not about a pretty face, but about what the eyes convey.” That has somehow stayed with me.

What were the initial challenges that you had to face? Did you break any rules to reach where you are right now?

I’m not sure if I was aware of it, but I think I have always been stubborn about wanting to be myself. To not break the rules I have for myself has probably been the biggest challenge.

You are an outsider in the industry. Or shall we call you a first-generation actor? You didn’t even have a godfather. How difficult was it then to make a mark in the industry?

Yes, I am a first-generation actor. If at all, it was difficult only because I didn’t know anyone in the know. I’ve always had the family support and the only advice they gave me—which they still give—was: “Do what you feel is right.” That basically meant the long road home. So it took long to make a mark, but, in retrospect, I wouldn’t do it any other way.

Do you think the industry is gender-biased?

Yes, hugely gender-biased because we, as a society, are gender-biased.

You are among the very few people who has had a successful career on television and then also made it big on the silver screen. How are the two mediums different from one another? Which one is more fun?

I only do movies I’m willing to give my all to and for a while. Nothing on television has inspired that in me. Besides, I am commitment-phobic, so I can’t possibly do one show for many months or years unless, of course, it’s a Downton Abbey or Mad Men or something like that.

Which one of your roles is your favourite?

That’s difficult to say. I can’t pick one, but Parineeta because it was my first movie. And then Bhool Bhulaiyaa, Dirty Picture, Paa, Ishqiya, Kahaani, No One Killed Jessica—they are all very special for I didn’t know I could do them.

What matters more: The script, the director or the brand name?

I think the script and the director are equally important. It’s the way the director feels/sees the script that is most crucial.