Film review: Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3

A witless 'porn-com'

Disgraced at home in India, Rocky (Aftab Shivdasani) and Kanhaiya (Tusshar Kapoor) take up friend Mickey’s (Krishna Abhishek) offer to join his business in Thailand. It turns out Mickey makes adult films that spoof Bollywood movies (Sholay becomes “Kholay", for example). Soon enough, Rocky and Kanhaiya are porn stars. Kanhaiya also falls in love and, in order to impress his girlfriend’s traditional father, he needs to create a fake, conservative family. So he recruits his porn co-stars to pose as the ideal Hindu family, leading to a chaotic farce in a garish mansion in Bangkok.

There is a serious drought of energy and jokes in this script (by Milap Zaveri and Mushtaq Sheikh), particularly considering that the characters talk non-stop. A recurring gag involves Kanhaiya’s tendency to become cockeyed whenever he sees the colour red, and a mute character who makes sounds that are only understood by her pet dog! The only hilarious dialogue, and I suspect this was unintentional, is when Mickey justifies his adult movie business by saying he donates a share of the profits to clothe poor children in Somalia.

The only watchable performer is Shivdasani, who maintains a modicum of grace in this crass, boring effort directed by Umesh Ghadge and littered with small-time television personalities. In the climax, the older men (Shakti Kapoor, Darshan Jariwala) are seen swooning over Tusshar Kapoor in drag before a final scene where, in spite of a warning sign on the beach, each member of the principal cast sinks into quicksand, waiting to be rescued. That’s how I felt—forewarned yet trapped.

Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 released in theatres on Friday.

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