Photo: HT
Photo: HT

How many Rahul Gandhis does it take to change a light bulb?

The correct answer: 10

How many Rahul Gandhis does it take to change a light bulb? The correct answer: 10.

The first Rahul Gandhi will focus on identifying the fundamental issue with the light bulb. Nobody who is living in darkness in India today is talking about the real issue. The issue here is not that the light bulb is no longer working—that is a superficial way of looking at it. We have to go deeper. And when you go deeper, you will see that the fundamental issue here is not changing the light bulb but changing the way the light bulb is structured. The current structure allows a light bulb to stop working with no accountability to the people. Unless we address this issue in a systematic way and set up a new system, even if you change the light bulb, India will not change.

The second Rahul Gandhi will use the right to information (RTI) to find out why the light bulb stopped working. RTI is the most powerful piece of legislation in the country. It was passed by the Congress party. Rahul Gandhi was involved in passing it. He did it because he wanted to empower the people to find out everything there is to know about changing a light bulb. So today, if a light bulb is not working, the people can themselves think of a democratic solution.

The third Rahul Gandhi will turn India into a global hub for manufacturing light bulbs, so that India is fully empowered whenever there is a situation that demands a change of light bulb.

The fourth Rahul Gandhi will bring in more youngsters into the Congress who will then change the light bulb automatically. The light bulbs we have today are too closed and too old. We need to open them up and expose them to young blood. Once youngsters are empowered, they will change a system that does not even allow an honest light bulb to give light in a democratic and transparent manner.

The fifth Rahul Gandhi will empower women to change the light bulb. We cannot change a light bulb with just one-half of the population—that is not democracy. You need to bring women into the system and push them forward to change the light bulb because, when it comes to changing light bulbs, women constitute 50% of the population if you include both males and females.

The sixth Rahul Gandhi will emphasize the importance of having a national debate on the fundamental problem regarding the light bulb issue: how does a light bulb get selected to a socket? Who chooses the people who select the light bulb? Replacing a light bulb that does not work with another that does requires concentrated thinking and long-term work—this stuff is not done in five minutes. And people are attacking Rahul Gandhi because he is not talking superficially about changing bulbs—he is talking about changing the system that gives power to bulbs that don’t work.

The seventh Rahul Gandhi will change the bulb by changing the way power is distributed. The way things are wired today, there is too much power concentrated among a few elite light bulbs. Why should a handful of bulbs have all the power? And give all the light? The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) believes in the concentration of power in the hands of one light bulb. Our philosophy is very different. We believe in empowerment, so that every light bulb can change itself.

The eighth Rahul Gandhi believes that the light bulb issue can be resolved by tapping the tremendous energy that is there in this country. There is more energy in this country than in any other country. India has billions of youngsters. Their energy is trapped. If we can put in place systems and processes to tap their trapped energy, and channel it into the bulbs that we want to change, we will discover that the problem is not the light bulb—the problem is us. It is we who need to change, not the light bulb.

The ninth Rahul Gandhi will ensure that any light bulb that’s stopped working due to corruption will be punished. The corrupt bulb may not be removed from its socket, or disconnected from power, but the issue at hand is opening the doors and empowering the atmosphere.

The tenth Rahul Gandhi has no interest in power. If it was up to him, he would have nothing to do with light or bulbs or change. But because he is the tenth Rahul Gandhi, he feels he has no choice but to take on the responsibility of changing the light bulb.

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