BackPune Newsletter | A singles club called Anand Yatra
Anand Yatra, has evolved to meet a societal need: companionship for the not-so-young
Premium(Pradeep Gaur/Mint)
The image that comes to mind when a single’s club is mentioned is...what? A smoke-filled bar, soft (or blaring) music... The Hollywood kitsch image, right? Here’s a single’s club that meets on Sunday mornings, sometimes in public gardens, and is a support group for single people over the age of 45 years.
Pune’s Singles Club, called Anand Yatra (happy journey), has evolved to meet a societal need: companionship for the not-so-young (i.e., over 45-year-olds) who have lost a spouse to death or divorce. In an increasingly nuclear family, what does the partner left behind do—be lonely, single and bitter?
No, decided Dr Hemant Devasthali, the founder of Anand Yatra. This group of people also needs companionship, which is how he set up the club five years ago. The only difference here is that the club clearly states that this was begun as a community service to help people who now find themselves in a single situation—it is not the aim to help them find partners, but to provide companionship at weekly meetings. What, if anything, develops out of these meetings is not the aim.
Five-year-old Anand Yatra (their fifth anniversary party was on 10 March) now has some 150 members in the 45-65 years age group, single not through choice but circumstance. The group is divided almost equally between men and women, fulfilling a need for all those who have been through the trauma of loss.
Dr Devasthali lost his wife in a horrific road accident and set up the club to battle his own loneliness, realizing that this can lead to depression and eventually ill health. The former principal of Pune’s Ness Wadia College of Commerce was clear that “life should be a well of happiness and people need a support group to help them overcome their grief or trauma". Hence the name Anand Yatra.
He formed the group with a clear agenda: “I tell them at the start that this is not a marriage bureau; it is open only to those who are over the age of 45, meant exclusively for elderly singles. It is an emotional support group for this category of people and I tell people who join us that finding companionship not remarriage should be their primary aim in joining the club."
There are other precautions that the group takes: the phone numbers of men are complied in a men’s only list, and the same goes for the women. The aim is that once they get to know each other at the Sunday meetings, they can take it forward if they so desire. That is then a decision taken by responsible individuals.
The club has five chapters across the city, but the 11am Sunday meeting is the central one for all chapters. The venues, as the agenda, changes, so there could be a picnic, a talk by an eminent speaker, cultural programmes...
There is homogeneity in the group, perhaps the reason it has done well and grown: all the members are currently Maharashtrians, all with at least one degree; most have held jobs (some may still be working, since 45 is the entry age). All the programmes and events cater to the needs of such a homogenous group, with Dr Devasthali adding that the Pune club has done well because of to the city’s progressive outlook. He recalled his pleasant surprise at the initial response from women at the formation of such a club.
“Clubs like this have started outside Pune: the Thane (near Mumbai) club is not doing so well, while a lady who formed such a club in Aurangabad found it hard to continue. I have received inquiries from people in Hyderabad and Delhi: I don’t know how these clubs are faring," Dr Devasthali said, adding: “I inaugurated a club like this one with a more cosmopolitan membership in Pune, but that too is not doing so well. Now we have begun to admit non-Marathi speaking members; let’s see how that goes. I am not happy that more such groups are not happening because there is a great need for many more."
Becoming a member of a peer group has its advantages. Members can share their moments of joy or sorrow, all of which is cathartic. Even family members don’t want to hear of the tragedy or trauma after a while, which can be shared with members here since they are a support group.
Dr Devasthali as a social worker has begun to expand the happy journey: there is anand dhan (wealth in relationships) where parents with just one child (the norm now) share their experiences; anand maitra (happy bond) where couples with no children or whose children are abroad share their empty-nest feelings; voluntary visits to ailing members (anand apt-relative). There is also anand sakhi (friend) for single women to openly discuss their problems... Indeed, an anandi way to resolving so many societal issues.
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