Jump scares are not scary any more because we’re doomscrolling reels every day. Stranger Things is set in the 80s, and every time they mention the name of the town, I hear the 80s jingle of a pressure cooker brand begin to play in my head.
Netflix released four episodes of Stranger Things Season 5 at 6.30 am on Thanksgiving Thursday (still Wednesday in the US), and I watched them because I don’t want you to skip work and watch this. You will be grateful this ‘Thanksgiving’ that we got over the big hair of the 80s. Backcombing is thankfully not giving any more!
Hawkins under quarantine
Coming back to Hawkins, we know the town is under quarantine, and the army has cordoned off the entry to Vecna’s world, which glows red and has funky tentacles. Secretly, I love Vecna - he starts out wanting to avenge the wrongs done to him, then wants to take over the world and wants to “do beautiful things together.” And I say, “Aww!”
To see Betamax Applause tapes at the radio station, and the boys competing to get Robin’s (Maya Hawke) attention, is super snacc. But she’s giving the team codes for the crawl over the radio, and the song by Diana Ross makes your heart turn ‘Upside Down’!
Hopper's absence
I do miss the drunk, alcoholic Hopper, but I like Linda Hamilton as the big, misguided adult, head of the military base inside the Upside Down! The SFX is so good, it makes me an “almost believer,” but after the super long, draggy Season 4, I’m holding this season’s feet to the fire.
“I want to see Veca’s heart on a platter” seems like a great goal. But watching subtitles like ‘Fleshy mass gurgling’ makes us laugh and brings us back to Earth. I think the dialogue, “I’m nuts. I’m nuts. But I’m not that nuts,” deserves to become a mantra for all of us doomscroolers.
Demogorgon returns
The Demogorgon, or flowerhead, is scarier than ever, and Holly’s home so brilliantly wrecked the gates close slowly enough to give El enough time to go through.
Fans of Back to the Future will love the reference to the flux capacitor, and I spewed tea all over the coffee table when Robin mentions it!
After a while, you wonder, do you really want to save Dipshit Derek? The narrative gets exhausting halfway through the third episode, even though you want it to be a Christmas gift that Murray got for us all. That’s when Volume Two of the series will bring these adventures to a culmination.
Hawkins never changes
Sometimes, when years and years go by, and you are brought back to Hawkins, Indiana, you hope things have actually changed. That adults stop speaking in platitudes, “Be yourself”. That kids actually stop being dafter and dafter, yelling at one another, “It’s not a Bopper!”
Note to the wise, thank god we can get better versions of fudge-chip peanut butter Boppers in India. If you’re a superfan of the series, you can call 7653032020 and talk to the Hawkins PD. They are still looking for information about Jane Hopper. The younger version of me wants to rescue Holly too, but you’ve heard me say that before, right? Anjali from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai now has a partner in supreme annoyance, and her name is Holly.
