Vijay Varma opens up about trouble relationship with dad, battling depression: ‘Aamir Khan’s daughter Ira stepped in…'

Bollywood actor Vijay Varma opened up about the time when he struggled with depression and anxiety. Talking about his childhood and relationship with his father, he said he carried guilt about leaving his family for his career. He recalled how Aamir Khan's daughter and actor Gulshan Devaiah helped him during Covid-19 as he felt loneliness.

In a conversation with Rhea Chakraborty on her podcast Chapter 2, the Darlings actor said how his admiration for his father faded with time over several things.

Vijay Varma on his relationship with father

“When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by my father,” Vijay Varma said. “He would go off on business tours and return with goodies. He had a very dynamic personality — flamboyant, short-tempered, unpredictable. That kept me both surprised and shocked,” he added.

“My love for my father took a beating when I became a teenager. He loved me, but he wanted so many things from me that I didn’t want — my career, my friends, even how I spent my time. Everything about me seemed to bother him."

Varma grew closer to his mother who became his emotional support.

The actor said that his father wanted him to join the family business, however, he took up odd jobs. “Actually, I could have enjoyed the business — but I didn’t enjoy my father’s company. His temper grew exponentially as I entered my teens. The more I resisted, the angrier he became."

Vijay Varma shared that his father would say ‘Naukar naukri karte hain, hum business karte hain (Servants do jobs — we do business).’

When Vijay Varma left his home for acting

With time, Varma found his love for theatre, something his father didn't approve of. Later, he secured his admission to FTII. Too afraid to tell his father about it, the actor said he decided to leave home without letting him know. “I called him and lied that I got a scholarship and it’s a one-year course. He said something nasty and warned, ‘You better leave before I return.’ So I packed my bags and left. I didn’t want havoc,” the actor told Rhea Chakraborty.

After completing his studies, Vijay Varma struggled to get work for a decade. "Nothing worked until Gully Boy came out of nowhere and changed my life,” he said. Later, he starred in Mirzapur and Dahaad, but he went back to the same dark place during the COVID-19 lockdown.

Vijay Varma on depression and anxiety

“I was all alone in an apartment in Mumbai. I had a small terrace — that sky saved me. The pause made me realise how lonely I had become while constantly chasing work,” he shared.

This is when he grew close to Ira Khan and actor Gulshan Devaiah, over Zoom.

Khan was assisting on Dahaad, starring Varma and Devaiah.

“I kept deteriorating. Ira was the first to say, ‘Vijay, you need to start moving.’ She made me join Zoom workouts. She was like my coach,” Vijay Varma revealed. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, pushing him towards therapy.

“I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. My therapist even suggested medication. I told her, ‘Let me try managing for now,’” the actor said. He shared how he would collapse and break down to tears during yoga sessions for reasons unknown.

“I carried guilt about leaving home. I still do. I left my family and struggled alone for a decade with no achievement. Today things make sense — but back then, they didn’t.”

“I’m glad Ira stepped in at the right time."

“She told me therapy isn’t bad. Coming from a dysfunctional family, if you don’t sort things out, it leaves a lasting mark. You think you’ve forgotten childhood hurt, but the subconscious remembers,” Varma said.

Vijay Varma will be next seen in the upcoming film, Gustaakh Ishq.