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‘Nadaaniyan’ review: The kids never stood a chance
This uninspired, unsure film hangs Khushi Kapoor and Ibrahim Ali Khan out to dry
Star kid releases have become a toxic cycle in Hindi film. No one seems to derive any pleasure from them, yet there’s one every month. As soon as a trailer drops, thousands of angry posts appear, with nothing to go on but two minutes of promotion and a vague idea that sons and daughters of famous actors are the enemy. Even established stars who came through film families can’t catch a break; last year, the release of Jigra, starring Alia Bhatt, was marked by unprecedented negativity. But with the younger crop, there are problems beyond an apathetic and frustrated Hindi viewing public.
A self-defeating reality is that, most often, the ones ‘launching’ these actors are a parent or relative or powerful well-wisher. The advantages this affords a newcomer are offset by the ill-will that figures like Karan Johar seem to attract. The kids get slammed for their (often nervous) performances, for having had an easy entry into filmdom, and for their association with a previous generation of star kid. Everyone’s walking on eggshells—the young stars, studio execs, directors, writers—and the audience feeds off their timidity. They’re set up to fail.
Also read: ‘The Brutalist’ review: Life and death of the American dream
If Shauna Gautam’s Nadaaniyan is symptomatic of larger problems, that still doesn’t mean it’s any good. It is, in fact, pretty awful, an opposites-attract teen romance with the milieu of Student of the Year (Johar, director of the 2012 film that introduced Alia Bhatt, Varun Dhawan and Sidharth Malhotra, is co-producer here). Pia (Khushi Kapoor) is the only child in a wealthy family of lawyers. The way the film begins, with her ironic voiceover describing her luxurious life, is identical to Call Me Bae, another Dharmatic production, starring Ananya Panday, another star kid, another Johar launch (it’s all depressingly connected). To put off an insistent classmate from asking her out—and to stay in the good books of her two girlfriends—she lies about a boyfriend she hasn’t gone public with. As she sets out boyfriend shopping, Arjun (Ibrahim Ali Khan) joins Falcon High School, home to Delhi's “pampered puttars and bigdi betis”.
Arjun is everything Pia needs in a fake partner—good-looking, debate team captain, swimming champion. The problem is, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship; he's hungry, has his mind set on joining an Ivy League college, and won’t be distracted. Pia, desperate to avoid a humiliation that really shouldn’t have arisen in the first place, offers to pay him to be her pretend boyfriend. They settle at 25,000 a week, a sizeable amount even for a school as bougie as this, though perhaps low for a full-time escort without benefits.
Khushi Kapoor is a pleasant enough presence in the three films she’s been in, with a less ebullient performing style than her late mother, Sridevi. Ibrahim, on the other hand, is utterly, inescapably like his father, Saif Ali Khan—and he seems to lean into the impression. Both the leads speak carefully and unnaturally, like newsreaders or some prime ministers. Khan in particular looks worried throughout. He has the hardest time getting simple sentences out. “You know…log… kehte hain...that... Diwali…is the festival of new beginnings,” he mumbles. This is a film that needs screwball pace, like Johar’s Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani, but is instead stuck at 0.75x.
It doesn’t help that this is dialogue that resists being said aloud. The best actor alive couldn't make “Iss zamaane mein itna zyada elitism aur classism apne humour se dikhaate ho?” sound natural. Writers Ishita Moitra, Jehan Handa and Riva Razdan Kapoor are so unsure of getting their ideas across that something as low-hanging as Khan’s aristocratic lineage is referenced in three successive comments when Arjun is debuted in high society. The code-switching is out of control. “Actual pyaar mein log kya karte hain?” Pia asks her phone. “Gifts giving, as in materialistic khushiyaan,” it replies. Painful wordplay, as in authentic dard.
It's all so lazy. Winning the inter-school debate competition will apparently get you ‘straight admission to Ivy League’ (Arjun, who’d have trouble defending a breakfast order, becomes president of the debating society after a rap-battle-like faceoff that ends with him taking off his shirt). Strange, disjointed scenes come and go—Pia talking about the government's covid response, Suniel Shetty and Mahima Chaudhry yelling at each other for two minutes straight. Orry turns up for a scene, playing himself. Archana Puran Singh plays the ditzy Ms Braganza, her character from Johar’s Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998). Arjun’s dad is played by Jugal Hansraj, so of course he starts a sentence with “Papa kehte hain…”
Hansraj and Dia Mirza are so likeable and normal as Arjun’s parents that they seem to belong to a very different film. There’s a scene towards the end when Arjun’s dad tells him he only used to eat falooda because Arjun’s mother liked it, and eventually grew to love it himself. It’s a simple enough idea—opposites can be stimulating—but so little in Nadaaniyan is cogently delivered that it feels like a blessing. This is immediately followed by a crying scene that’s a curse upon the Pataudi house. “Jab…gussa…control…na ho paye…toh…kulfi kha lo,” Arjun advises. I’ll take that kulfi, but I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
‘Nadaaniyan’ is on Netflix.
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First Published:7 Mar 2025, 01:31 PM IST
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