Swiped right on perfection? Maybe AI wrote their profile

Until recently, AI’s presence on dating apps remained minimal and subtle, with platforms like Bumble providing AI-driven ice-breakers as auto-suggestions to spark conversations and Tinder using AI to personalise match suggestions based on user behaviour. But the landscape is shifting. As AI-generated responses and AI-powered features become increasingly common on dating apps, users are left questioning the authenticity of their online interactions. Am I chatting with the real person or a version that’s been aided by AI, is a question users have to weigh. It adds more complexity to making those early decisions about where a relationship could go. It’s changing the way people connect and is raising important questions about the potential risks and benefits of relying on AI to navigate romance.

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At the Bloomberg Tech Summit in San Francisco in May last year, Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd spoke about their AI dating concierges, which people could use as stand-ins for themselves when reaching out to potential dates. In February this year, Hinge launched an AI feature that helps users improve what they write on their profiles by sharing helpful suggestions. Tinder’s latest addition, “The Game Game", is an AI-powered feature that lets users practise flirting with a chatbot, signalling a move towards more interactive and immersive AI experiences.

AI does bring perks to the digital dating world. For starters, it can help avoid those initial, often awkward exchanges. Algorithms can sift through a wider pool of data, potentially finding matches that actually click. And let’s not forget accessibility—AI-powered features could open up the online dating world to those who find traditional interactions daunting.

Mumbai-based Kanksha Raina, 30, an analyst at a media consultancy firm, is a Hinge user whose curiosity was piqued by the app’s AI prompt feedback feature. Hinge prompts range from “The hallmark of a good relationship is..." to “My friends ask me for advice about..."—Raina decided to try it.“I was curious to see if they would change or reword my answers, but it just asked me to think deeper and give examples of what I am saying on my profile. This actually led to me changing all my prompts, and it felt a lot more like me," says Raina.

Ishank Gupta, 22, who is pursuing his MBA in Delhi, is on Hinge and uses ChatGPT for witty replies and ice-breakers with his matches but feels AI doesn’t really “get" him. “I think that these AI models are still very West-coded, and 50% of the time, I won’t use the responses it shares with me," he says. “I use ChatGPT once in 10 texts and pick the most conservative option it gives me."

Some app developers are trying to solve this, and with the rapid improvements in technology and AI’s own capacity for learning, these are relationship wrinkles that are likely to get ironed out quite soon.

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Gayatri Agrawal, founder of Altrd, which specialises in AI integration for businesses, worked on an AI tool for Indian dating app, flutrr, in August last year. The app was created for users in tier 2 and 3 cities and is available in seven languages, including Hindi, Bengali and Telugu. The main “ask" from the client was to help people start conversations as they weren’t accustomed to speaking to the opposite sex in their social context. Agrawal designed a plug-in where users could create an AI-generated song in Hindi or English based on a few things about their match to help break the ice.

“The idea was that instead of writing something for them, could we create something that sparks a conversation," Agrawal, 26, explains. “Can I send a song that’s based on what I like about you? We built a music feature where you have to put in the other person’s name, what you liked about them, the relationship you have with them, the language, from a drop-down, and it generates a song."

The assistance is certainly useful in India, where dating and choosing one’s own partners is still the exception rather than the rule. A 2018 Mint report says that of 160,000 households surveyed, 93% had an arranged marriage, and just 3% a “love marriage".

“AI features feel helpful at the outset for people who may be less confident about their dating skills. Given that in India most of us are not quite socialised on how to date, it becomes really helpful," says Mahesh Natarajan, a Bengaluru-based counselling psychologist and founding partner at InnerSight, a collective of counsellors.

“Hopefully, it will help us learn rather than become dependent on the tool, but given how easy AI makes it, the worry is that we might just end up using the tool, helping it learn more and more, and not really learning ourselves," adds Natarajan.

The Way Forward

In 2024, Grindr’s stock price outperformed competitors like Match Group and Bumble. This surge is attributed to the app’s recent AI-powered updates, which include conversation analysis tools, personalised recommendations, and a new feature called Wingman, an AI chatbot that will craft witty responses and pick out promising matches.

Match Group, the parent company of dating giants Tinder and Hinge, is doubling down on AI innovation.The company plans to roll out new AI-powered features this month, including AI bots to assist those struggling with their dating game. And while this may look like the obvious tech-driven solution that aims to help users “find love", these AI-powered features are usually paywalled. Match has outlined principles for responsible generative AI use, but a review of Tinder and Hinge privacy policies reveals no mention of AI.

Karima Ben Abdelmalek, CEO and president of happn, a French location-based dating app that’s been available in India since 2017, discusses the app’s approach to using AI. “The real challenge is balance—using AI ethically, transparently, and as a support system rather than letting it take over the dating experience. For us, AI should help, not dictate, the way people connect," she says.

There’s the looming concern that outsourcing our romantic interactions to AI could lead to a host of psychological issues, including “connection deficit" where genuine human interaction takes a backseat.Then there’s the “uncanny valley" or the sense of unease and disconnect that comes with interacting with a bot that is seems real in every way but isn’t. “Our social skills are built by constant learning through repeated trials, errors and retrials. If we don’t get those opportunities, we might not really grow in that space," notes Natarajan.

So as with any relationship, it’s up to the person to navigate these twists and turns with a healthy dose of scepticism and critical thought. Relying on AI can’t sustain a a relationship in the real world, as Mishra has discovered, and he concludes, “Being myself is better."

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