Digital amnesia: How AI and automation are eroding our cognitive skills
With apps, remote working and AI, we are deluding ourselves into believing that life can be frictionless
In therapy sessions, I pay close attention to the friends and family members my clients talk about—and I also notice who gradually disappears from their stories or goes unmentioned. In the last two years, I have observed that clients increasingly reference conversations with artificial intelligence assistants as if they were real people. A 50-year-old female client tells me, “I’m surprised how when I’m struggling with a problem, I immediately choose to begin chatting with my AI assistant. Talking to friends feels effortful, so I have been meeting them less frequently. In my head, my AI assistant, who has a name, has become a friend and that scares me. I feel I’m getting used to the ease, comfort that these conversations offer.”
I often hear clients say that because they work remotely, sometimes they don’t leave their homes or speak to anyone for a week or two straight. They mention ordering food via delivery apps, doing most of their shopping for clothes and groceries online, and chatting on dating apps for long periods before they choose to meet someone. Other clients and friends mention how they have specific instructions for packages to be dropped at the door so they don’t have to interact with others.
As I sit through these conversations, I wonder if we are trying to build a life with no friction. A life in which, in the pursuit of optimisation and productivity, we’ve deluded ourselves into believing our lives are seamless. We have been led to believe that outsourcing our chores helps us save time and build a better life. This technology-led loop seems to be a slippery slope because my fear is that it impedes our attention spans, patience levels, social skills and capacity to tolerate ambiguity. As our dependence on apps and maps for directions increases, I wonder what happens to our cognitive functions: our memory, our capacity for pattern recognition, and critical thinking. For example, those of us who grew up without cellphones still remember not just our own landline numbers but also our friends’ numbers. Cut to now: most adults remember only one to three numbers, generally those of a parent, partner or close sibling/friend.
We seem to have succumbed to digital amnesia. The reality is no matter how much we try to insulate ourselves and build systems for automation, complexity and effort are what life demands from each of us. Friendships and intimate relationships involve some degree of conflict and disagreement, requiring a process of figuring out and engaging in repair to manage it.
The more we exercise our cognitive skills, the better we become. If we choose quick solutions like looking up answers on the internet or using AI, we risk losing valuable skills. Over the last couple of years, to maintain my brain’s cognitive abilities, I choose to go to the market at least twice a week to buy groceries and essentials, and to engage socially with others, even through micro interactions.
A month ago, while travelling solo to Kochi Biennale, I chose to navigate the city the old-school way: without Google Maps. I used a physical map, asked for directions and since I have been to Kochi several times, I jogged my memory to remember landmarks, locations and when I was lost, I asked strangers for directions. We are forgetting the “effort paradox” principle: while human beings may want to avoid tasks that require effort, we enjoy the results and outcomes much more when they involve physical and mental exertion. Those tasks add to our sense of self, satisfaction, accomplishment and problem-solving abilities.
I read a column by Kathryn Jezer-Morton in The Cut where she discussed “friction maxxing,” a term she coined that she defines as building tolerance for inconveniences. I loved the term, and it reinforced my belief in friction. To me, it boils down to two questions: “Am I exploring and learning something new?” and “Am I meeting and engaging with the world?” Both are answers in themselves and a reminder that making space for friction is good for our brain and mental health.
Sonali Gupta is a Mumbai-based psychotherapist and author.