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Getting back to life after festivities
Summary
Festivals and celebrations can make people feel stressed, overwhelmed, and fatigued. Here's how to gradually calm down.
Over the years, I have begun to notice that soon after the festive season celebrations, clients talk about feeling overwhelmed. This feeling can be come from negative as well as positive events. “There is so much happening all at once in the festive season. This evokes a sense of helplessness but also of being overstimulated, staying alert to what’s happening and socialising, which makes me exhausted and evokes anxiety," says a client in her late 30s.
As human beings we can be overwhelmed even when things seem to be going right. In my observation, this state lasts for about two-three weeks after celebrations and festivals. This is can evoke feelings of confusion because we associate “overwhelm" only with negative or unpleasant events.
When there is a set routine or structure to our day, it allows us to feel settled and makes our day predictable. During festivals or weddings, this routine goes for a toss, whether it is disruption to our exercise, eating or sleep schedules or the extent of socialising. This disruption leaves us feeling unsettled and hyper stimulated, contributing to our sense of overwhelm.
In the last few years what seems to have exacerbated this is the performative behaviour that has emerged due to social media. The same client tells me that it is impossible to have a simple Diwali with rituals and homely decorations. She feels the pressure to decorate the house, dress up in a way that’s social media worthy. If she doesn’t do that, she either feels guilty or incompetent, believing that everyone else is doing a good job. People across age groups bring this concern to therapy
If you find yourself in a similar space, remember you are not alone. This overwhelm can make our transition to getting back to a normal routine difficult and can come in the way of how we feel about ourselves and our overall mood. This is something that also comes up after people have had a good holiday, post-Christmas and new year celebrations too.
Also read: Make room for joy in life
When clients bring these feelings to therapy sessions, I generally begin by understanding what lies beneath it. This is followed by acknowledging all other big and small feelings that accompany it. My experience is that the more we can articulate and make sense of what we are experiencing, the better we can equip ourselves to manage the emotions. As we say in the psychotherapy world: “Name the feeling and tame it."
Generally, overwhelm is accompanied with a sense of irritation, fatigue, not feeling in control, not feeling centred, lethargy and sometimes even anger or rage. Begin by noticing and acknowledging what you feel.
Choosing to bring back structure and order to one’s day and then mindfully building some alone time to engage in soothing rituals or activities helps. If you are struggling with social exhaustion, choose to stay home on weekends so that you can build quiet time. It’s also a good idea to inform your immediate family about the overwhelm you are struggling with because loved ones may not be aware of it.
I find social interactions and celebrations energising. At the same time my immediate family talks about how after festivals they feel that they need a few days to decompress and find their balance. This communication has helped us not judge one another and impose our expectations on the other person.
Families with children also talk about how their feeling of being overwhelmed is linked to children having holidays. Many feel that it’s only when schools resume that they settle as a family.
Learn not to judge yourself and instead consciously take micro steps that allow you to centre yourself and regulate your mood better.
Sonali Gupta is a Mumbai-based psychotherapist. She is the author of the book You Will be Alright : A Guide to Navigating Grief and has a YouTube channel, Mental Health with Sonali.
