The psychology behind your moving day rituals
For serial movers, every new home brings self-discovery and essential decluttering
What’s the first thing you do after moving to a new place? I always do laundry. On the first night in the apartment I moved into last month, the washing machine hummed as I wiped the drying rack with disinfectant. I find this oddly satisfying about relocating: the deeper-than-usual cleaning of ordinary things; everything you own gets a fresh start along with you.
A month on, a few cartons remain unopened, most corners still unorganised. The joy of relocating is harder to locate. Having moved more than five times in just the last decade—because of redevelopment and job relocations—I began to wonder what our way of moving reveals about us as people.
“Frequent relocation can shape personality around the theme of transition itself," says Delhi-based counselling psychologist Anindita Chatterjee. “For some, it fosters movement and adaptability; for others, a need for control. The rhythm of repeated endings and beginnings may teach us to live—or force us to live—with impermanence."
Children of defence personnel are widely believed to adjust easily because moving is “baked into them since childhood," she adds. “While most people will say it increases their flexibility as an adult, it’s not uncommon for others to say that their desire to have a permanent home quickly is a real one and it’s because their childhood felt too nomadic," she says.
At 30, Rishabh Kumar, an associate director in films, has moved 17 times within Mumbai and across the country. Growing up, he shifted frequently because of his father’s job in the media industry. He despised it because it disrupted friendships. He finds it exhausting even now, but has grown to appreciate the clean slate a new home offers. “The one rule we follow," he says, “is pack the kitchen last and unpack it first." My rule is the opposite: I set up almirahs and bed first, leaving the kitchen for later.
Professional organiser Krati Verma, who runs Orderly in Bengaluru, sees two broad types of movers: hoarders and declutterers. “Some people keep the gift wrapping and even the shopping bag," she says. Others use every move to lighten their load. One client kept only 15 shirts and discarded the remaining 35, she recalls. I’ve begun to relate to the latter kind. This time, after throwing out rusted hangers, I promised not to replace them but give away clothes instead.
Verma says clients tend to give away stuff while packing, adding how she jokingly tells them that “if you organise trash, it remains trash". In my case, the real decluttering happens while unpacking.
Chatterjee explains, “When we’re packing and moving there is so much uncertainty, it’s natural to hold on to familiar objects. After unpacking, the new space reshapes our perspective. If we like the place and feel safer, we may be more willing to donate things we don’t need." Home is a living thing, she adds, “how we design and keep it reflects our inner workings."
A few years ago, Kumar had paid token money for a house, only to have the owner abruptly call the deal off eight days before shifting. But the rushed replacement he found ended up being a happier fit, he says.
Last time, it took me a fortnight to set up the kitchen. This time I set it up sooner but forgot to do pest control. The fatigue and fumbles teach me moving homes is as much about finding yourself as it is about forgiving yourself. And believing that things have a way of working out.
For serial movers, shifting homes goes beyond chaos and cleansing, becoming a means to self-discovery
topics
