The unspoken advantage of being popular at work

Narang’s experience isn’t unique. Being well-liked, especially at work, can shape how others respond to you, often in subtle but powerful ways. A recent study from Columbia Business School in the US echoes Narang’s experience. Researchers found that people who are widely admired feel freer to express themselves across settings. “Our findings suggest that social status may be as important as self-esteem in increasing authenticity, which is surprising," says Erica R. Bailey, who conducted the research this year with James T. Carter and professors Adam Galinsky and Sheena Iyengar, which was published in the university’s magazine.

The perks of being liked

Arjun Bhat, 33, a marketing manager at a SaaS startup in Bengaluru, never thought of himself as popular.

“In college, I was the guy who got along with everyone but mostly faded into the background," he says. “I wasn’t a star athlete or student leader, not someone people remembered in a crowd, but I got along with most people."

But when he entered the workplace a decade ago, Bhat noticed something surprising: social visibility mattered almost as much as consistent performance.

“The colleagues who joined team lunches or were active on Slack got their ideas heard faster," he recalls. “They weren’t necessarily better at the job, but people listened to them."

Determined not to be overlooked, Bhat started making deliberate changes. He showed up to Friday after-office outings, cracked jokes in meetings, and offered guidance to junior colleagues. “These small steps started to pay off. People began noticing my contributions, and collaboration became smoother."

Unlike Narang, whose likeability comes naturally, Bhat’s story is about conscious cultivation. Yet psychologists caution that popularity isn’t about superficial charm.

According to Mitch Prinstein, a psychologist and author of Popular: Why Being Liked Is the Secret to Greater Success and Happiness (2017), people should focus on being helpful team players rather than faking smiles or currying favour with superiors.

Such genuinely likeable people often enjoy what Delhi-based independent psychologist Meera Sinha calls “perceived trustworthiness". “When someone is well-liked, colleagues attribute positive intent to their actions," she explains. “The same email can sound assertive from one person and rude from another, depending on how others perceive them socially."

Freedom at work

Authenticity has become one of the most overused buzzwords in corporate culture. Workplaces now encourage employees to bring their whole selves to work. But in reality, not everyone is granted the same permission to do so. Everything from gender, hierarchy, and social visibility influence how much freedom an employee has.

Sana Qureshi, 29, a product designer at an e-commerce startup in Gurugram, experienced this first-hand. “I am quite direct in my communication, and when I joined four years ago, people thought I was arrogant," she recalls. “I was told to smile more or to soften my tone, things no one tells men."

Qureshi quickly realized that her professional competence alone wasn’t enough to shape how colleagues perceived her. She had to actively manage her visibility and relationships to be heard. Rather than suppressing her personality, Qureshi found ways to let it co-exist with workplace norms.

She volunteered to host internal events, joined the DEI committee, and spent more time engaging informally with teammates. “Once people got to know me beyond work, they stopped misreading me," she says. “Now I can freely share my views and opinions, without the fear of being judged."

That’s the paradox of authenticity, says Sinha. Sometimes, people have to fit in before they can stand out. “Indian corporate culture is deeply relationship-driven," she adds. “You can be the most competent person in the room, but if you’re perceived as aloof or unapproachable, you will have it hard in your work life. Being liked gives you the autonomy to be different."

As with everything else, being popular at work comes with both perks and pressures. Bhat admits he sometimes feels the weight of expectation. So does Narang. She says, “When you are the friendly one, people expect that energy every day. If you are quiet or having a bad day, they ask what’s wrong."

Sinha calls this the performative cost of popularity. When someone is liked for being approachable, there’s an unspoken expectation to keep performing that version of themselves. “It can lead to emotional fatigue if you are not careful about boundaries," she says.

At the same time, those who aren’t especially popular face a different kind of pressure—to prove competence and avoid missteps. For them, authenticity feels riskier. “It’s like there’s less margin for error," says Qureshi. “One wrong tone and I will be labelled rude again."

Yet social ease isn’t the only route to being yourself at work. Sinha believes the senior leadership can actively create environments where everyone feels safe being themselves, not just the popular few.

“It starts with those in the top rung. When managers normalize admitting mistakes, showing empathy, or giving balanced feedback, it signals that being real is valued over being liked," Sinha says.

She also suggests smaller, more inclusive practices such as rotating who leads meetings, acknowledging quieter contributors, and creating casual spaces such as coffee corners or open lounges that don’t privilege extroverts. For employees, self-awareness matters just as much. “Popularity can amplify your voice but integrity sustains it," Sinha adds. “Use your social capital to make space for others who might not be as comfortable being themselves yet."

Ultimately, the question isn’t whether it’s easier to be yourself when you’re popular—it clearly is. Sinha sums it up: “The goal isn’t for everyone to be the loudest in the room. It’s about creating spaces where people feel safe to contribute in their own way. When that happens, confidence grows organically, and so does collaboration."

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