Board exams are stressful for parents too. Here's a guide to help them cope

There is a very specific kind of quiet that settles over Indian homes during board exam season (which for a lot of homes across the country begins today owing to CBSE and ICSE 10th and 12th board exams). Doors close more softly, dinner conversations shrink into monosyllables and family WhatsApp groups turn into strategy zones. Children take the exams, but parents, very often, take on the stress. There is plenty of chatter about student anxiety, but far less about the adults who quietly become cooks, counsellors, chauffeurs and emotional shock absorbers—sometimes all before 9am. Exam season doesn’t just test academic preparation, but also challenges parental endurance. Research mirrors these experiences.

A survey conducted in Karnataka in 2023 found 86% of adolescents preparing for competitive examinations reported high academic stress and 87% perceived high parental pressure. It highlights how academic and home environments intersect affecting the child’s wellbeing. Mumbai-based counselling psychologist Maithili Thanawala Kanabar says most parents carry a mix of fear, guilt and helplessness during this period. “There is fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of anything negative happening to their child. Children pick up parental anxiety even when nothing is said aloud,” she explains. Noida-based psychologist Abha Singh agrees that exam season often turns parents into “vigilant supervisors” without them even realising it. “Board exams often turn the home into mini-examination centres,” she says. “When board exams come, parents also feel tested emotionally and mentally.”

That invisible transmission of stress is familiar to Tanvi Patel, 43, a kindergarten teacher based in Mumbai, whose daughter appeared for her ICSE boards last year in February. “The house was quiet, irritable and anxious. I found myself constantly watching her—how long she was studying, whether she was eating enough, and obviously… the phone.” She laughs at the memory now. “I would yell every time she touched it. I realised I was nagging her more than helping. Next time I’m not doing that.” Priti Shah, 52, an entrepreneur based in Mumbai, whose daughter is appearing for the IGCSE this month, echoes the same feeling: “We (parents) burn the candle at both ends. Pressure builds up from school, tuition and WhatsApp groups. Sometimes all you want is five minutes where no one asks you anything.”

One of the most important shifts Kanabar recommends is to stop behaving like the exam supervisor. Many parents sit next to their child for hours—not because the child needs them, but because they feel they should. In most cases, this increases stress for both. Instead, become a facilitator. Check in once every four or five days rather than daily, and ask empathetic questions such as, ‘What felt tough this week?’ or ‘How are you feeling about prep?’ rather than, ‘How much is left? What marks did you get?’ It changes the emotional climate of the home.

Singh says the line is simple: “A supportive parent creates a secure, encouraging, and organised environment, while an exam supervisor takes over the student’s autonomy.” She adds that families can shift this dynamic by remembering that the parent’s role is to “set the stage” rather than “run the show”.

”While parents can occasionally miss going to the gym, self-care does not have to disappear. Even something as simple as enjoying your morning coffee makes a difference. Patel saw this first-hand. “Sticking to my routine helped. I’d go to work, take my younger one out, come home and do what needed to be done. That normalcy told my daughter the world wasn’t ending just because she had a chemistry exam the next morning.” Shah found her own rhythm. “We take a 15-minute walk after dinner every day, where we talk about everything except studies. It is as important for me as it is for her.”

THE CHAI-BISCUIT TRAP

Ask most Indian parents about their comfort food during exam months and the answer is usually chai and biscuits. Occasionally, there’s bhujia. Mumbai-based clinical nutritionist Himani Jariwala explains why this pairing back fires. “Tea pushes up cortisol levels, biscuits spike blood sugar, and this triggers another chai break. The cycle keeps the mood unstable, affects sleep and causes irritability.” Her advice: limit chai or coffee to two cups a day; switch to tulsi, chamomile or peppermint tea after evening study hours; and keep healthy snacks at hand—yoghurt, paneer cubes, nuts, popcorn, hummus with roti, sprouts chaat and makhana.

“The most common mistake families make is overdoing ‘brain food’,” she adds. Excess nuts, ghee, juices and milk can cause lethargy and poor sleep. “If a meal is missed, start with hydration, then bring the meal back. Eat one meal together as a family. Cook easy one-pot dishes for a week. Let everyone’s nervous system settle first.” The goal isn’t to eat perfectly; it’s to stay steady. Your child needs a regulated adult, not an undernourished one.

Talking about a “smart menu” for exam month, Jariwala recommends meals that are familiar, nutritious and easy to prepare, such as:

u Poha, upma, or thepla with curd

u Oats porridge with nuts

u Dal-rice with a side of vegetables

u Sprouts chaat

u Paneer or egg frankie

u Khichdi-kadhi

u Millet noodles with veggies

u Uttapam or idli-sambar

u Avocado-paneer toast

FOR THE BODY AND THE MIND

Parents often sit for hours beside their child, and the aches add up. Physiotherapist Sneha Shah, who lives between London and Mumbai, says she sees more chronic neck, shoulder and lower-back pain during exam months than at any other time. “If you only have five to ten minutes, do hip rotations, knee-to-chest stretches, shoulder rolls and neck rotations. And stop keeping water bottles on the table. Walk to the kitchen to drink water. That alone breaks sedentary posture.”

Yoga instructor Anupa Shah of Sukhna Yoga, Mumbai, recommends Viparita Karani. “Legs up the wall for five minutes with a favourite podcast resets the nervous system.” She also suggests a short sequence of twists, neck stretches and conscious breathing that can be done in regular clothes. Exam season also amplifies outside noise—enthusiastic relatives and hyper-anxious parent groups. Kanabar’s advice is simple: mute groups that circulate rank lists and archive conversations that make you spiral. If you must check WhatsApp, do it within a fixed 10-minute window and never in front of your child.

Singh points out that a lot of parents carry unspoken stress during this time. “Most parents don’t say it out loud, but many are think ing, ‘I am terrified. I am losing my sleep. I am actually more stressed than you are,’” she says. “Awareness of parental stress is the first step toward creating harmony at home, because most of the time parents who do not have awareness are inducing their anxieties onto children through their body language and facial expressions.”

When anxiety spikes, Kanabar suggests a few anchors: a daily slow belly breathing for 90 seconds, journalling catastrophic thoughts, or asking a calmer co-parent to step in briefly. For relatives whose favourite hobby is comparison, have one line ready: “Every child has their own trajectory”. Then change the subject. When asked what mattered more, the marks or the atmosphere, both Patel and Shah answered instantly. “The atmosphere,” Patel says adding, “A calmer home leads to better study patterns, and results follow.”

Anushka Patodia is an independent journalist from Mumbai. Her work spans food, travel and wellness; she also runs The Plate Project (@theplate_project) on Instagram.