How to forgive yourself and move ahead this coming year
We are all better at forgiving other people than ourselves. But being able to do the latter is crucial to peace of mind. Here is how you can start your self-forgiveness journey.
Going through life and experiencing many changes and challenges can sometimes hurt us or even disappoint us. There will be people who must have either hurt us or disappointed us. We often judge ourselves based on 'success', which are external parameters or outcomes often not in our control.
When we talk about forgiveness, we tend to think about forgiving others for whatever has been done, and that also one finds difficult to do so in many scenarios. There are other feelings associated with it, like feeling guilty, ashamed, and stressed. Let's focus on forgiving ourselves, looking at ourselves, our choices, past behaviour, decisions, and see if we are ready to forgive and move ahead into the New Year. "Self-forgiveness is healthy and necessary; it will help reduce anxiety, give peace of mind, provide self-relief, and help move ahead," says Hirak Patel, Counselling Psychologist, Fortis Hospital Mulund. One can always start with small steps and then go ahead, she says, outlining some of them.
Acknowledge and accept what has happened
You may learn to do things differently next as you take a lesson from whatever has happened; however, one cannot change whatever has happened. So, focus on what can be done next and how to deal with similar situations next time.
Take responsibility
Find your inner strength, and gather your sense of control. At the same time, it is important to understand that not everything is in your control.
Take steps to acknowledge and indulge yourself in self-love
In the self-love approach, take a tender and loving approach with yourself. It helps you to set yourself free from regret, shame and self-blaming as you get an understanding that after all, you are a human, that you have certain limitations, and that you recognize that you were doing the best you could at the time
Write letters to yourself with positive affirmations
Take a moment to think about the driving force and the underlying need that had to be fulfilled. Don't be too harsh to yourself and indulge in self-care
Be patient
Often when we feel embarrassed and guilty about our actions, we want everything to be normal, but do not rush, take time and gradually move ahead. Forgiving oneself or others is a part of self-care and self-love that one must practice.
Also read: Are mental health apps really effective?
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First Published:29 Dec 2021, 11:30 AM IST
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