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Mindful parenting: 8 tips to help nurture emotionally regulated children
Summary
To bring up emotionally intelligent kids, parents need to focus on communication strategies that are collaborative, open, and judgement-free for kids to express their ideas and problems
The goal of all parents is to build trustworthy bonds with their children and support them with careful guidance and wise insights. But effective communication between parents and children becomes difficult when emotions escalate or when children refuse to respond. Self-awareness serves as the foundation for effective communication by enabling parents to regulate their emotions and remain fully present during interactions. The goal is to develop a space where both parents and children experience mutual understanding and appreciation. Following are some strategies that can guide parents to develop communication methods that build connection and respect while promoting cooperation with their wards.
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Parents, it starts with you. Regulate your own emotions first.
Are you feeling frustrated, impatient, or overwhelmed? Pause to evaluate your emotions before starting any conversation because children reflect our emotional state. Positive communication begins with your ability to remain calm and composed. Take deep breaths or pause for a moment to find your balance before answering your child.
Monitor the emotional climate. Meet your child where they are.
Assess your child's emotions prior to determining your approach of engagement. When children are upset or anxious they may not respond well to immediate problem-solving attempts. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I see that you’re really upset right now. Let’s take a deep breath together before we talk." This helps them feel accepted which sets the stage for moving forward.
Validate your child’s feelings, even when you disagree.
Validating emotions allows children to understand their feelings while learning to manage their emotions. Instead of dismissing their concerns with “That’s not a big deal," acknowledge their perspective: “It's clear you feel very upset about this situation. That makes sense. Let’s figure out how we can solve it together." Children who experience emotional security become more receptive to receiving guidance.
Create a safe space for expression.
Create a safe space for your child to express their thoughts and feelings free from judgment. You should listen empathetically to your child and avoid giving immediate corrections or dismissals when they express themselves. Instead of jumping to solutions, asking open-ended questions: “What’s on your mind?" or “How are you feeling about this?" helps create a trusting environment for honest conversations.
Also read: 10 mindfulness practices to strengthen emotional resilience in youngsters
Collaborate on solutions together.
Don’t just prescribe solutions, try to involve your child in the problem-solving process. Try to ask, “What do you think could be offered in this instance?" or, “What do you believe we may do together?" This not only enhances their critical thinking, but it also increases the child’s likelihood of compliance because they feel in control.
Set boundaries and expectations together.
Boundaries create structure, yet they must be established through mutual agreement. Instead of issuing commands like, “Stop playing and do your homework now!" try: “I see you’re enjoying your game. Let’s set a 10-minute timer and then it’s time for your homework". This approach honours their freedom while directing their actions.
Model the behaviour you want to see.
Children learn communication skills by watching us. By demonstrating patience, respect, and self-regulation, children will learn to integrate these behaviours into their own actions. Maintain calmness by taking deep breaths instead of raising your voice or speaking harshly when frustrated. After making mistakes follow up with an apology and demonstrate relationship repair through honest discussions.
Use positive reinforcement.
When we recognize and compliment children for their good communication practices they become more likely to continue those behaviours. Instead of focusing only on what they do wrong, highlight what they do right: “I really appreciate how you used your words instead of getting upset." This builds their confidence while strengthening their relationship with parents.
Effective communication with children begins with emotional regulation and self-awareness. When we maintain a calm demeanour while mindfully observing our child’s emotions and adjust our methods to suit their needs, we establish a space where children can freely express their feelings. The practice of validation together with collaboration and intentional boundary-setting enables parents to have significant conversations that create stronger connections and support emotional development for both children and parents.
Dr. Taylor Elizabeth is an emotional intelligence and etiquette coach based in Dubai.
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