The smartphone is making your child angry. Here’s why

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At a glance, the report says that among children who get their smartphone before age 10, “60% are distressed or struggling, 55% feel sad and anxious, 49% have a sense of being detached from reality, 38% feel aggression and anger, 17% experience hallucinations and 39% have suicidal thoughts at a level that impairs their ability to function effectively." Additionally, the report finds that the problem is more pronounced among girls, with 65% of those surveyed being distressed or struggling to function effectively.

“After covid-19, screen time has tripled among children of all ages, especially among teens and pre-teens," says Bengaluru-based psychotherapist Aji Joseph. This usage is not just limited to smartphones but includes other gadgets like gaming devices and tablets. “This means that kids are not just using devices to give and receive information, but are also engaging in activities like betting and phone sex," Joseph says. According to him, this rise in screen time is causing an increase in ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) symptoms among children, as well. 

“There’s a lot going on, too much information being relayed, which could cause young brains to get confused or exhausted," he notes. Dr Tara Thiagarajan, neuroscientist and founder of Sapien Labs, feels that “increased screen time can lead to disruption or decrease in sleep and displacement of time spent in person with friends and family— factors which are important for children to develop socio-emotionally." 

“Screen time usage among kids has definitely increased post pandemic. Many children, who would generally play outdoors, were put in a situation where they were surrounded by screens and this has caused developmental delays in them," shares Mumbai-based Maithili Kelkar, whose 10-year-old son is undergoing therapy for ADHD. She feels that, to some extent, this reaction is to be equally blamed on school curriculum, classwork, homework and class projects being shared via phones and tablets. 

“While gadget use makes kids anxious and impatient, I am not too sure if it makes them angry," reasons Kochi-based Jan Varghese, a mother to two girls, a pre-teen and a teen. “My daughters don’t use smartphones much and don’t have social media accounts, but they do have a Nintendo gaming device. I feel things in their world are fast-paced and so, they expect everything to be done fast. They are also not too keen in engaging with things that involve a lot of labour," says Varghese, who feels that the lines get blurred when it comes to limiting screen time, as a lot of schoolwork comes via phone or tablets. “You can’t really take away that screen time from them," she rues. 

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According to Joseph, the effects of excessive screen time manifest in different ways in boys and girls because the two cohorts tend to use their devices in different ways. While boys spend more time playing games on their phones, girls are more likely to spend time on social media. The resultant behaviour is based on social conditioning as well. “Societally, boys are conditioned to be assertive, and so aggression tends to be a by-product. Girls on the other hand tend to be more submissive, and so, react by being angry or moody, " he observes. 

Taking off from the report on why smartphones may be affecting girls more, Thiagarajan says, “Girls spend more time on social media, which leads to social comparisons and self-image challenges, and this can invoke greater anger and aggression in them. Girls are also likelier to be targets of sexual attention and abuse, which can reflect as anger, aggression and hallucinations, especially when they are exposed to it at an age when they are not emotionally equipped to handle it." Besides this, boys and girls have differential developmental trajectories particularly during puberty, which may make girls more susceptible to these challenges online, Thiagarajan points out. 

Joseph has worked with parents of teenage boys who have shown violent tendencies towards parents and siblings as a result of excessive gaming and gambling. This, he believes, leads to other extreme habits such as smoking marijuana, drinking, pestering parents to buy expensive gifts and more. “Social media is a complicated and dark space for children to navigate. There are all sorts of predators and bullies online, to whom kids tend to fall prey to," he adds. Varghese, however, believes that blame cannot be rested on gadgets or smartphones alone. “A lot of times, parents hand their phones out to children because they don’t want to deal with a bored child." 

Children learn by example, so parents should stop using gadgets at the dining table, says Joseph before sharing one piece of advice. “Parenting should be transparent right from when a child is a toddler, where the child gets to make independent decisions based on the information parents give them. In this case, the pros and cons of using a smart device excessively." 

“Parents should be as concerned about their children’s online behaviour as they are with when they go out alone," says Thiagarajan who advocates having parental controls and filters in place “that restrict the sites and apps your children use, and which provide you with a view of the sites they are visiting and the content they are consuming."

Mumbai-based Jasreen Khanna, mother to a five-year-old boy, says, “I have to be cautious about the kind of content my son watches. I make an effort to watch the content before I turn it on for him. There have been instances where he has used violent phrases after watching a show like Paw Patrol, which seems innocuous at first glance." The young generation, Varghese feels, is growing up in a time where everything is AI-powered and they need to be in the know. 

“You just cannot take technology away from them. It’s a fine line to balance," she says. One good step to begin with then, to quote the Sapien Labs report, would be to “delaying smartphones ownership as a method to reduce suicide and aggression in adolescence."

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