BackLeaving the Army wife stereotype behind
Army wives are redefining success by following alternative career pathsSome Army wives are exploring their own talents and passions they didn’t know they had until they quit their jobs
PremiumSumity Sahi, 36, knew what she was signing up for when she married Karan Sahi, 41. “My father was in the Border Security Force (BSF), so I had some idea about how the forces work, but life is very different as an Army wife than it was as a child from the same background. I now realize how difficult my mother’s situation was," she said. Karan has been in the Army for nearly 19 years, and Sumity manages the household, their two children, Jai Veer aged 10 and Naaz aged 2, the couple’s finances, and also pursues a career. Though she had to quit working as a teacher to relocate with her husband, she became a freelance writer later.
Richa Kashyap, a communications manager, who writes and blogs about the lives of military wives, said, “When it comes to Army wives pursuing their careers, the challenge is twofold: geographical as well as cultural. There are limited career opportunities for Army wives in Tier II and Tier III cities where their husbands get posted. Also, in small cities, the surroundings are not too encouraging for working women; so unless one is self-motivated, it becomes very difficult to pursue a serious, full-time career." So how do wives manage the life changes that come with marrying a military personnel?
Staying grounded
For Sumity, focusing on her household and children was always a priority. She took a sabbatical from work to help her husband, who had suffered a sporting injury and the break only got longer after her second child came along.
While she couldn’t start teaching again, Sumity slowly warmed up to the idea of taking up freelance writing, with the help of another Army wife. “I have been doing it for three or four years now and it brings in a neat amount of pocket money for me," she said.
Sumity says the stereotype of the Army wife sacrificing her career altogether is a thing of the past. “A lot of Army wives work. If not jobs, they have entrepreneurial ventures or hobbies to keep them busy," she said.
Kashyap, who is an Army wife herself, agrees, “Despite all the challenges, there are many Army wives who have rewritten the definition of success. I have met ladies who have started their second career in writing, jewellery design and other businesses, and have become well-known and respected names in their respective fields. However, it takes time, patience and perseverance to reach to a stage where the income is as good as what a stable corporate career offers," she said.
Changing track
Some military wives are also exploring their own talents they didn’t know they had until they quit their jobs to marry an armed-forces employee.
Vibhuti Pandey, 28, worked in a multinational company for four and a half years before she got married two years ago to Himanshu Tiwari, 30.
Vibhuti quit her job without much hesitation, to discover her own talent. “I had always been interested in décor and crafting, but it was on the back burner as studying and then work took precedence," she said. A friend who visited her house after marriage really liked the décor and suggested she put pictures of her home on social media. After initial reservations, Pandey opened an Instagram account and posted photos of her home. In less than a year, Vibhuti’s Instagram account has gained traction, and she has been featured in various décor magazines and websites. She has received offers to take up interior design projects as well. Vibhuti now plans to take a formal course in décor and to turn it into a full-time career.
In it together
While the responsibilities that come with being in the armed forces may distract the personnel from matters like finance, someone has to take charge. “Most faujis are shifting base all their lives, so the first thing they want to invest in is a home so they have somewhere to go on holidays. While most are not very clued in about market trends, I do my part by investing in mutual funds and buying adequate insurance," said Sumity.
Sumity used to earn and invest independently before she got married, so all she has had to do is keep up the saving habit after marriage. “While I can’t make any big investments, I do keep up my regular SIPs (systematic investment plans) for long-term goals like my children’s education and our retirement," she said.
But some armed forces families might struggle if one partner’s career is shelved, said Kashyap. “People come from different social and economic backgrounds, so the financial necessities differ. Those who come from wealthy families might not need an additional source of income, but people like my husband and I, who are from middle-class families, have to think twice before making huge investments such as purchasing a house when one spouse is not working," she said. Deepali Sen, founder partner of Srujan Financial Advisers LLP, agrees, “It is a wise idea to steer clear of taking a loan to buy a house they wouldn’t be living in, especially if there is paucity of funds," she said.
The stereotype about military wives sacrificing their careers to follow their husbands across the country is becoming outdated. But there is still a gap when it comes to the provision of gainful employment for the spouse in far-flung areas. “Armed forces families should plan ahead and have clear financial goals. They should also have an emergency fund, given their fluid situation," said Sen.
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