‘Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hai’: NRI woman sparks debate on why meeting friends in India always comes with a bill

For many urban Indians, catching up with friends is practically synonymous with ordering coffee or booking a table at a restaurant — “Milna hai toh pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai.”

This fairly common routine irked an NRI woman visiting from Australia, who described the social habit as an unavoidable “social tax”—cabs, drinks, cover charges, dining out and incidental spending just to share the same space as your friends. Costs add up invisibly in the moment, only to hit hard when you tally the total, she said.

This sparked a social media debate about why metro cities make you a “customer before you can simply just be a person”.

‘Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hai’

A viral Instagram Reel by Smidha, a desi expat from Australia, triggered the conversation. She pointed out that meeting friends in India almost always comes with a bill.

“I realised how much money I spent just trying to hang out (in India),” she said. “I was in Mumbai and generally wanted to explore the city, and somehow every plan either became about a cafe, restaurant or a mall.”

Before moving to Australia, she said, this cafe culture felt normal, but returning made her notice how ingrained it had become.

Smidha contrasted India's consumer-driven hangouts with Australia's public infrastructure.

“In Australia, you can meet a friend for a coastal walk, sit in a park for hours, or spend an afternoon in a public library without spending a dollar. You don’t need a receipt to justify your presence,” she said.

In India, by contrast, Smidha said, “Milna hai to pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai. (Decide first where to have a coffee if you want to meet). Somewhere along the way, a lot of our cities became places where you have to be a customer before you can simply just be a person.”

Her caption to the reel summed it up: “Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hai.”

Later, in the comments, Smidha asked whether this was uniquely Indian or simply a cultural shift: “Did we just get so used to cafes and malls that we forgot how to hang out for free?”

Netizens react

The viral post struck a chord with social media users who felt frustrated by socializing, which felt more like an expensive transaction than a meaningful connection.

“India is about malls and shops .. no community spaces left anywhere,” a user said. “Going out to eat or drink is somehow the only concept of socialising nowadays (in India),” added another user.

Another added, “Indian cities are not built for quality of life. They are built to mint money.”

“Summer heat, non-existent nature and public infrastructure in the cities force us to limit ourselves to indoor spaces only!” a user said.

“Public spaces, Infrastructure is such that only money can give you a space to sit with someone outside your home. India needs to work upon this, but wait, politicians do have their farmhouse, and they don't care about this issue at all,” added another user.