
A Reddit user narrated a strange happening within his family. In Indian marriages, when dowry as a custom takes priority over family values, a shocking instance of rejection of groom was documented for refusing gifts, property, car and money from bride's family.
Narrating the happenings, the Redditor in a post said that his 27-year-old, 5'10 tall cousin, who earns well and owns BMW M340i, “got rejected because he refused to take dowry.” Hailing from a wealthy family owning “real estate, restaurants and pubs business” and ancestral property, the groom found “a great girl; smart, career-focused, good family values” in an arranged marriage setup.
However, things did not turn out well when he sought the woman's hand in marriage but without dowry. The post states, “Then her dad asks my cousin what dowry he wants. Cousin says “none, I’m good.” Dad insists; at least take some “gifts” like a Range Rover or a duplex flat, etc. Cousin still refuses. This back and forth goes on for a while.”
His progressive approach to change oppressive traditions did not resonate with the bride's father who rejected him for refusing to accept dowry and said, “A high-value man knows his worth. If he’s refusing dowry, there must be some defect in him.” He literally used the word defect. To explain, he even gave this gem of an analogy: “Xiaomi/Vivo phones are 15k-20k, but people still pay over a lakh for iPhones because they’re valuable.”
Concluding the post, the Redditor said, “I'm glad my brother dodged a bullet.”
A user wrote, “Sometimes dowry is a bargaining chip if things turn sour. And for people who have money, they want something else to hold that upper hand which is what seems to be the case here.”
Another user remarked, "Bro should have replied back like this. "Why you're offering me dowry ? Is this girl a defective one ? Like compensating something that she missed from being a perfect girl"."
A third user stated, “He was offering dowry so that if things go south and in most cases like these they do, the bride can then file cases of dowry harrassment and extract a huge alimony. So a 40-50 lakh investment can fetch them 4-5 crores in a few years. Your cousin really dodged a bullet(sic).”
A fourth comment read, “I came across a few matches like that too. The girls and their parents were being pushy to get the alliance done quickly but I wanted to take it slow to get to know them better. They then started touting their wealth. In one case, the girl was a US permanent resident and they used that as a carrot! It immediately raised red flags for me as it just came off as trying to own me and not giving me space to make an informed choice for myself. I ended up declining those girls as it didn’t sit right with me.”