Melinda French Gates on panic attacks, changing norms and ice plunges
Summary
The philanthropist, who has a new memoir about life transitions, talks about advice from Warren Buffett and how she stopped having panic attacks.
It’s never too late to change your life, according to Melinda French Gates, who is still reinventing herself at 60 years old. In 1996, she left her manager role at Microsoft to become a mom full-time. Then, in 2000, she became the co-founder and co-chair of the Gates Foundation, one of the largest charitable foundations in the world, alongside her then-husband, Bill Gates. In 2021, the couple announced their divorce, and last year, French Gates said that she was leaving the Gates Foundation to run her own organization, Pivotal, which she started in 2015.
“I felt like it was the right time for me to set out on my own," she says. At Pivotal, which has a venture capital arm in addition to its philanthropy, French Gates is focused on women’s rights domestically and abroad.
In her new memoir, The Next Day, out this month, French Gates writes about how she has navigated life changes. One of the key lessons she’s learned, she says, is not to rush through them.
“In that time between when you’re leaving something and you’re starting the next thing, there’s a space. I call it a clearing," she says. “There is an enormous amount to learn when you’re sitting in that clearing."
French Gates lives in Seattle. Here she discusses advice from Warren Buffett, how she thinks about her legacy and her love of kayaking.
What time do you get up on Mondays, and what’s the first thing you do after waking up?
About 6:30 or 7. The first thing I do is go to the coffee machine. I don’t really like to eat breakfast. I really like to get quiet time if I can. I’ll do a fair bit of stretching, then I’m out the door to walk with three friends who I’ve walked with every Monday morning for 20 years.
What else do you do for exercise? The book mentions your addiction to kayaking.
I love kayaking in the summer, [or] biking or walking or a bit of light jogging. In the winter, I go in my gym and either do a weight workout or the Peloton.
Do you have go-to skin-care products? What’s that part of your routine like?
I just slap on whatever’s around and keep going. I have a million moisturizers my daughters have sent me, or from my dermatologist. Unless I have some big business meeting, I don’t wear much makeup.
In “The Next Day," you write about leaving the Gates Foundation to run Pivotal full time. What have the biggest differences been?
I’m doing a lot more domestic work than I did at the foundation. There have been a lot of setbacks for women in the U.S., so I really wanted to focus on things like caregiving and maternal mortality.
In terms of schedule, I have more flexibility. With the foundation, I’d be in Africa two or three times a year, Europe quite often. I have less international travel for Pivotal, which is nice at this age because I’m on the West Coast and my three kids and granddaughters are on the East Coast.
You’re currently working on the $1 billion commitment Pivotal made to advance women’s rights globally, which is the second such commitment you’ve made in the past five years. What are the biggest challenges facing women now, as you see them?
I never thought we would live in a time where my granddaughters currently have fewer rights than I have had. The Dobbs decision [that overturned Roe v. Wade] has had profound effects. I was just down in Louisiana last week, learning more about maternal mortality, which was already bad in the U.S.—a woman is twice as likely to die in the U.S. as she is in another high-income country.
A huge chunk of the billion-dollar commitment will go to women’s health. Another big chunk will go towards gender equality and women’s rights.
When you invest money like that, how soon do you expect to be able to see and quantify a return?
When you’re trying to change social norms, you’re in it for the long term. We can track things like maternal mortality—does that get better over the next five years? Then there are the long-term issues: Are we getting closer to gender equality? Those are harder to measure. A true gender societal norm is a 20-year play, so check back with me when I’m 80.
I admired the way you wrote so honestly about the panic attacks you experienced leading up to your divorce. Why was it important?
I wanted people to know that it happened to me. Before, I was always like, Is that really a thing? I thought maybe by admitting it, maybe somehow that will be helpful to somebody else. A friend [who I’d talked to about them] literally reached out to me when she was in the middle of one. As soon as I picked up the phone, I could hear her kind of gaspy voice.
Sometimes it’s more convenient to ignore your inner voice. Eventually, at least in my case, my body screamed at me and said, “You will pay attention to this."
You spent many years staying out of the spotlight. What has it been like to now step into it on your own?
I stepped into it in 2008. Then in 2012, I was leading this big work on contraceptives for the foundation. That felt like a big step to put myself out there, saying we’re going to raise this amount of money and carry this forward, which we did. The more you are [in public], the easier it gets. That said, I still lead a very private life. I’m lucky that I live in Seattle. I don’t live in L.A., so I can go out in my kayak and nobody has any idea it’s me, and that’s really nice.
Do you think about your legacy?
Only in the sense that we all have a finite time. I want to leave the world a better place for my granddaughters.
Do you have any hobbies or habits most people might not know about?
I’ve been on the cold-plunge kick for probably a decade. Even on a windy day or a cold, rainy day in Seattle, especially if I’m going to have a tough workday, if you can get through that, you’re like, OK, I can basically do anything today.
Do you collect anything?
Audrey Hepburn was my favorite actress back in the day, and so I have some of her personal letters. I have some photographs from when she was on the set of “My Fair Lady," like some of the original film that I was able to blow up and get the photos from.
Who do you go to for advice?
I write down a lot of quotes that people tell me over time so I can replay them in my head. Like if I get tough on myself about philanthropy, I remember what Warren Buffett said to us originally, which is, “You’re working on the problems society left behind, and they left them behind for a reason. They are hard, right? So don’t be so tough on yourself."
What’s the last thing you bought and loved?
A darling little Moncler purse that fits just my phone and a pair of sunglasses and a lip gloss.
The last good book you read?
“The Frozen River," by Ariel Lawhon. Cultural fiction—loved it, couldn’t put it down.
What’s one piece of advice you’ve gotten that’s guided you?
From my mom: “Set your own agenda or someone else will."
5 Morning Must-Haves
Brooks Ghost Max “Every Monday morning, my three best friends and I meet up for a long walk. I call them my Truth Council."
Joe Coffee Big City“I start the day with a cup of coffee, which I drink black. Around noon, if I’m traveling or need a treat, I switch to Coke."
Hyperice Hypersphere“This massage ball is a big part of my post-workout routine."
Paper Mate Flair Pens“I never travel without them. I had a whole color-coded system for editing my last book."
Capri Blue Candle in Volcano“I like to have a candle burning in my office as I work. I especially love a citrus scent."
Write to Lane Florsheim at lane.florsheim@wsj.com
