Woman demands ₹3.73 lakh for hugging would-be husband during pre-wedding photoshoot, calls off engagement

A woman in central China sparked online outrage after demanding a “hugging fee” from her ex-fiance. The woman accepted a betrothal gift of 200,000 yuan (around ₹25 lakh) from her fiance’s family.

Later, she called off the engagement and agreed to return the money. However, she deducted 30,000 yuan ( ₹3.73 lakh) as payment for hugs shared during their relationship.

The couple, who met through a matchmaker, got engaged in January. They already took pre-wedding photos and booked a hotel for their November wedding before the woman backed out. The man hugged the woman at the photographer’s request during the pre-wedding photoshoot.

The woman has denied any “major disputes”. She just does not “want” to marry the man. According to her, 30,000 yuan includes some of the expenses she incurred during the courtship.

The woman’s demand was eventually fulfilled as the families agreed to return 170,500 yuan (approximately ₹21 lakh) to the man.

“The woman thought the man was too honest and had too little income,” the South China Morning Post quoted their matchmaker as telling the media.

“In terms of the bride price, she said she was willing to return it but would keep 30,000 yuan as a ‘hugging fee’,” he said.

“I have introduced 1,000 couples in the past decade. Her family is the most picky one I have encountered. Her demand for a 30,000 yuan reduction is immoral,” the matchmaker added.

The man, already shocked by her decision to cancel the wedding, was left speechless. The story, first reported by Henan TV, went viral with over 23 million views on Chinese social media.

In China, it is customary for a groom’s family to pay a betrothal gift as a gesture of gratitude to the bride’s family. According to SCMP, the betrothal gift may go as far as 500,000 yuan ( ₹62 lakh). The custom is similar to mahr in Islam even though it is not a pre-wedding obligation.

Mahr in Islam

In Islam, mahr is a mandatory gift or payment from the husband to the wife at the time of marriage. It symbolises respect, commitment and financial security for the bride.

The amount of mahr depends on the financial status of both families and can range from modest sums to several lakh rupees in India. Importantly, mahr belongs solely to the wife. It is not given to her family, and she can use it however she wants.

Unlike dowry, which is an illegal practice where the bride’s family pays the groom, mahr is a lawful Islamic duty paid by the groom.

In China, cases of women ending engagements but refusing to return the bride price often make headlines, according to SCMP.

In one such case in 2024, a man sued his ex-fiancee and her father after they kept 230,000 yuan ( ₹28.65 lakh). The court ordered repayment within 15 days. However, the family ignored it, forcing the man to approach the media for help.

1 Chinese yuan = ₹12.46